Finding That Balance

I was lying in bed reading Tori Spelling’s newest book Uncharted TerriTORI and it hit me! Was this book written for me? Was I meant to read this at this EXACT moment in my life? Tori…. how did you know?”

Ok so I didn’t exactly think Tori knew… but there was just something about the words she wrote and the simple idea of what happiness means.

I read: “I have love. I have a family. I have a home. I have work. It’s all I ever wished for. But trying to be a perfect wife, mother, and mini mogul has its challenges, especially if, like me, you want to be perfect at all of them at the same time.

…my marriage, my family, and my job together are my dream come true. But those two sides of my life—exhausted and elated—are constantly vying for Tori dominance (not quite as critical as world dominance but try telling that to my immune system). The struggle plays out in Malibu and Maui, on a tour of local L.A. hospitals and across the country in an RV. Somehow in realizing my dreams I’ve lost my ability to just be. My reality is my job, and that means that my work and my life are completely woven together. It all happened so quickly that I haven’t begun to establish any boundaries. My life is all out of balance, which has turned out to be a biggie. I got everything I thought I wanted … and it practically destroyed me. I need to make a change. I don’t know how and when I’ll do it, but that search is the challenge and the journey.”

So at this point I’m thinking Omg … I need to find that balance, I need boundaries and I need to stop chasing and just be! Ah ha! It just clicked!

Tori continues: ‘”When I shop for new bedding, I can’t help thinking, Maybe I could do a line of Hollywood Regency–inspired shams. I spend a day doing crafts with the kids and start fantasizing about developing a kids’ crafts show or magazine sharing the joys of homemade play dough and pipe cleaner animals. I cook dinner and envision a recipe book with my nanny’s special shepherd’s pie. I hobble out of an event, barefoot, with four-inch heels in hand, and fantasize about Tori Spelling–branded disposable micro flip-flops. (Somebody please run with that.)

I want to do a show with Dean where we put together dream weddings on a budget: it’s on! There’s an opportunity for me to do the talk show I’ve always dreamed of? So what if it’s all day, every day, forty-four weeks a year, I want to do it! My agent’s worried I’m going to drop dead. Can we clone me? I wonder. Nah, the clone wouldn’t do it right. Yeah, I got the whole workaholic package, which means I’m so completely incapable of delegating that I couldn’t even delegate to my own clone. People talk all the time about leaving work behind at the end of the day, about how important it is to draw a dividing line between your job and your life. But my job is to be Tori Spelling. I can’t exactly take a break.”

OK, I get it… I am not exactly building a mini empire or starring in a hit reality show, but she said it! Tori said exactly how I have been feeling! My mind is finally at ease.

It never occurred to me before, why people REALLY never got why I chased and chased and chased….. it’s because when your me…. you ALWAYS want to give it a try (hey why not… what do you got to lose)… but there comes a point where you have to step back and realize what’s in front of you… NOW.

I found my balance, FINALLY! I know what I want…. I am just going to take the scenic route, and get there when the time is right…

Tori inspires me, and her books are fabulous! :)


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